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Ok y'all... Time for me to turn this book blog into a food blog and give you my entire life story before getting to the recipe haha.
If you've followed my blog for a while, and it's definitely been a while. (I realized that this past month marked my 10 year anniversary with my blog. And that totally blew my mind.) You know that I haven't really been around much the last few years though. I'd love to say it was just because I've been busy living my life. And yeah. You could say that was part of it. But I also went through one of the worst mental health crisis I've probably ever had. (And there were a lot of times I didn't even recognize when it was happening most of the time.) I went into teaching in 2019. And yes, at the time, I was just super busy. I had just moved, started a new job, started dating someone new. Things were busy but going so so well. And then like everyone else... 2020 happened. And that was probably the first hit to my mental health. I did not do well being secluded as much as I was. I didn't get to finish my first year teaching. And it put a strain on my relationship as my boyfriend was layed off his job as a result of the shutdowns too.
Fast forward to 2021. School was back in, but it was rough. We were in and out so many times, kids and parents were awful, and cracks in the leadership of the school and district were turning into gapping holes. But I was able to start going out and doing some stuff again too. I took on a second job that I loved for some extra cash even. So that did help. Got to finally meet my boyfriends parents. And then the end of May devastated me in a way I couldn't have prepared for. I was given incorrect test results from my doctor and not only did I wind up being down with the sickness. But because I was told I had been negative, I also stopped quarantining, went back to school, and got my best friend and my boyfriend sick. It knocked me down for a good week or so. But my best friend wound up with walking pneumonia, and my boyfriend was put in the hospital on a vent for 14 days, and spent 2 months in the hospital. The amount of guilt that plagued me was astronomical. He had a couple really close calls while vented. And we literally had to fight the hospital for care for 2 months after he got a hospital born infection that they refused to acknowledge or fix. That led to him struggling to walk or move the entire time and when we did get to home he was on IV antibiotics with in home nursing for a little over a month (While I was back in school working again.) And still has muscle spasms from incorrect proning procedures. During all of that I was forced to quit my 2nd job, as I had to be up at the hospital pretty much 24/7 (if I wasn't my boyfriends mom was there) as we didn't trust the hospital anymore (there's a lot more to it. At one point a nurse almost double dosed him the narcotics he was on after coming from the vent and pushing heart/blood pressure meds when his heart rate would go up from the pain from the infection to mask that was what was happening.) We were very thankful for our advocate and for an amazing PT department that went to bat for us. As all of this was happening. We were also in the process of about to be moving in together. So it was a lot.
I also found out I was getting moved from gen ed SpEd to a contained special education classroom (which if things hadn't been so crazy I would have been ecstatic about. That is where my love and passion is. But it was a big change on top of all the other stuff.) I did wind up finding a tribe there though. I met the most amazing set of ladies that had my back and supported me. And 2 and a half years later are still very good friends. Which leads me back to the stress of school. When I tell you our school systems are broken. I mean it. And that was even more clear to me in special needs. I worked in both a mild/moderate class, as well as a severe/profound class. My kids were absolutely amazing for the most part, but we were severely understaffed, and did have one child that was very violent for lack of a better description. We had no support, we were getting scratched, hit, things thrown at us, classrooms torn up, keeping other children safe, getting bathroom related "stuff" thrown at us and on us. It was hell. And eventually drove away that amazing team I loved so much (veteran special needs teachers that had been teaching for 10 years with certifications in behavior management among other things) But the absolute lack of support and being blamed for it all was too much. I sadly wasn't in a position I could leave though. And fast forward to the next school year end of 2022 beginning of 2023. The new teachers that were brought in to work with us were lied to about the situation. They really had no idea what they were doing as no one gave any sort of guidance or help (are you seeing a pattern yet?) and things just went from bad to worse. I came home so many days covered in bruises and scratches or in tears. Had filed out numerous work injury reports, had a sprained foot that took several months in a boot to heal. And many days would collapse after getting home only waking up when my boy friend would come get me for dinner.
And I shut down hard during this time. Even my best friend and I would hardly talk. (To the point I hadn't realized how isolated I had made myself. That was until my besties partner pointed out to me a couple weeks ago how glad she was we finally were spending time together and how much my friend had missed me. Talk about a kick to the gut. But she was right. And I needed to hear it.) I wasn't cleaning the apartment any more then the basics I need to survive like laundry and dishes. It caused many issues with my boyfriend and me.
It was bad. But at some point I finally decided I was done. With the encouragement of my friends and family and a lot of guidance from one of my previous colleagues, I decided to make the jump from being in a classroom to practicing behavior therapy. I spent 6 months getting my certification and started taking clients after school and over the summer. And fell in love with it. I get to work with the same kids that I adore at school in a 1 on 1 environment. But under much more controlled circumstances and with people that provide support and guidance. (So everything I wasn't getting in school)
So I made the jump to it full time and left the school.
It has been one of the hardest decisions as I do truly love school despite all the horrible. But has prompted me to perusing my personal education again and putting myself in a position to be doing a job I love with a paycheck I can survive on (Teaching pays nothing. Don't be fooled. It is just one more facet that was broken in a failing system)
But what I meant for all of this, was to explain that because of all this. I have struggled something horrible. After 2020 hit I literally couldn't pick up a book. I tried so many times, to only get 1 or 2 pages in and get so overwhelmed. I was able to listen to one or 2 audiobooks over the last couple years. But when I say 1 or 2. I literally mean like I could count them on one hand.
And that has been the first thing I've noticed now that I've finally quit, and removed myself from such a toxic situation. I want to read again. I tackled 2 audio books in the last month. (And yes that seems like a small amount, but right now it's huge for me) I've started really cleaning and decluttering again too.
And I finally realized just how bad of a toll the last 4 years have taken on me. But I'm realizing what I missed and what to do again finally too.
I turned 30 in June too, and I have to say I really hope this is a new start to me getting back to the things I love with a new job I love more.
So I hope you enjoy this review 😘
Enter the brutal and elite world of a war college for dragon riders from New York Times bestselling author Rebecca Yarros
Twenty-year-old Violet Sorrengail was supposed to enter the Scribe Quadrant, living a quiet life among books and history. Now, the commanding general—also known as her tough-as-talons mother—has ordered Violet to join the hundreds of candidates striving to become the elite of Navarre: dragon riders.
But when you’re smaller than everyone else and your body is brittle, death is only a heartbeat away...because dragons don’t bond to “fragile” humans. They incinerate them.
With fewer dragons willing to bond than cadets, most would kill Violet to better their own chances of success. The rest would kill her just for being her mother’s daughter—like Xaden Riorson, the most powerful and ruthless wingleader in the Riders Quadrant.
She’ll need every edge her wits can give her just to see the next sunrise.
Yet, with every day that passes, the war outside grows more deadly, the kingdom's protective wards are failing, and the death toll continues to rise. Even worse, Violet begins to suspect leadership is hiding a terrible secret.
Friends, enemies, lovers. Everyone at Basgiath War College has an agenda—because once you enter, there are only two ways out: graduate or die.
With driving to clients now for work I'm back to having a lot of driving time to fill. So I decided to use some of my ever building Audible credits to scoop this one up and start (I also tend to like high fantasy books in audio over book form too. Audio's just hold my attention better for all the world building and whatnot.)
And yes I have been paying for Audible for these last 3 years. And just accumulate until I've maxed out then find something to buy (Usually JLA books) to hopefully eventually read.
But anyhoo, I am so glad I started this one. I immediately got sucked into this story. Violet was such a compelling character, and she is just someone I bonded with and wanted to see what would happen to her. Maybe its her relationship with her family or her being thrust into an impossible situation that made me want to keep going. But I felt like it was so easy to place myself in her world and I didn't get stuck trying to push through the world building so many other fantasy books spend chapters creating. Yarros did an amazing job building that world, but she let me create it in my head at her guidance. And it was such a refreshing read because of it.
I really liked the brutalness of this story. A lot of times authors have a tendency to create brutal worlds, but then shelter their characters from it and keep the world directly around them soft. But Yarros made the brutal world just as brutal around Violet as well. She never had things easy because of main character plot armor. Yes she had others around her to help her. But Yarros wasn't afraid to make you feel scared or worried for Violet. Or even just the emotions Violet was feeling in general. It gave a sense of urgency and mystery to the book that I enjoyed a lot. And the romance. ALL THE ROMANCE!!!!
Which comes to my next point... This book was SPICY 🔥🔥🔥
The romance and tension in this book was sooooooo good. I was dying for Violet to make a move on a particular spicy character throughout the book. But there were a few I could have hoped for. I'll let y'all discover who it may be for yourselves 😜
But speaking of the males in this book. There were several that I thought really made an impact on the story. Of course there is Xaden.
He just checked all those boxes for me haha. (I'm trying to write this spoiler free. And it is hard. So HARD!)
It wasn't just that Yarros wrote his as such a hunk. But it was the many different sides to this guy and how deep his personality went. He was one I just wanted to pick to pieces and see what makes him tick. And I enjoyed a character that really made me feel uneasy but comforted at the same time. He gave off a lot of mystery. But also was one I felt like I had pegged from the page we meet him.
I also really really liked Liam. Again. I won't get into a ton of details. Because I don't want to give away too many details. But he was just one of those characters you immediately like and attach to. And truly is such a good addition to the story and flow of things. You grow to love him so much (At least I did) And I loved how deep Yarros was able to make a character that wasn't always in the spotlight. Honestly that goes for a lot of the characters in this book. Most of Violets inner circle could fall into this category. I appreciate the time and detail that was spent on them, and that they didn't become too much filler or overrun the main story line.
if I'm talking about everyone else I guess I should also mention Dain. I have a love hate relationship with this character. Him and Xaden both are characters that want attention. But for very different reasons. And I really liked the contrast between the two of them. Plus, and I say this a vaguely as possible... I really appreciated what Dain stands for as the story progresses. I think many people don't understand why a character like him is so important to recognize and interact with. That sometimes a good thing can be too much. Or love and fear can blur lines and hold us hostage instead of helping us to grow. I give a little more detail here because I've been Dain at times. I told y'all my story about why I've been missing from the book world recently. And when my boyfriend got sick and was recovering. I became so on guard and ready to defend and fight (Especially after our awful experience at the hospital and me literally fighting a broken system for him). That I didn't give him the freedom and space to be himself or find his autonomy again when he was healed and able to take care of himself. I had to relearn how to be his partner and not his advocate. And that was a very hard lesson. And did cause stress in our relationship I regret forcing on him. (I've always been the "mom" in my groups... I'm always the one with the thing you need or wiling to go do the thing. My best friend tells me I "teacher" people now instead of "mom" them haha.) So that tendency is already there. I just took it to a much more intense level. And it was a very weird feeling to see myself reflecting in a character in a story like this. I mean I'm definitely not gonna relate to riding a dragon or fighting a griffin haha.
But I really appreciate all of the dynamic personalities and talents Yarros was able to fit into these pages. She gave us so much. And the story never became wordy or drawn out. And so many charters evoked emotions from me. Definitely good and bad ones.
In general the whole story was very much like this. My bookish spidy powers picked up on several plot points and twists. But I was also surprised by a few I brushed off or dismissed. Or flat out didn't see coming. Plus the romance, action, suspense, tension, and fantasy were all done so spectacularly. This was an immersive world and story, and i cannot wait until Iron Flame comes out in a couple months. I'm dying to see what will happen next.
I should add a little about Violet herself I guess too. I liked her. It's not a secret I tend to not relate or enjoy the female characters in these books as much as I like the guys. Sometimes they are just too emotional or have very unbalanced writing. But Violet is an exception to that. She is written well. She has depth, she has facets and personality. She even has times she drives me crazy. But I love her for it. She is fierce and soft but knows what she wants and is willing to work her tail off for it. She definitely has some plot armor going on. But lets be honest, who doesn't? I loved watching her discover herself. This wasn't a coming of age. But it was a coming into ones self. And that was portrayed so well in this book. Plus how can I not love a fellow book nerd? haha
And I almost forgot to mention the mother fluffing DRAGONS!
Also. I just want to add, the last like 4 chapters?????? OMG I am still not sure I've processed them properly. They made me want to cry, the rage, to cheer.... It was a lot of emotions and feelings to cope with as the page numbers kept counting down haha. But worth the torment for!
I give FOURTH WING
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐5 STARS⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
